I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
