Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
