I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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