just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
