so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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