Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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