i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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