the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
