yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
