so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
