in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
