So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
