Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
