this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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