am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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