boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
