We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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