ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
