In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
