What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
