Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
How external is "for external use only"?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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