i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
