You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize