he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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