so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
