So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
