I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
