If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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