I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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