ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
