Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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