shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize