i think i have herpe
just one?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
