woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
