Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
