On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Drunk walkin through police station. America
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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