ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
