So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize