I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
