Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
