Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
