You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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