She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
