we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize