Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
