every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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