Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just had sex on a roof
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
