I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
