You smell like stripper and shame
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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