saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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