remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
