The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
a search helicopter?!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Someone came in the potted fern
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
