Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
