dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
