I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
