I just threw up on my dentist
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
