Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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