hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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