Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize