I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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