he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
