girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We talked him into tasing himself.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
