You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
