ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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