Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
