i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
