4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I need to wash the frat house off of me
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
