I accidentally burped into my bong.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
