I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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