Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
