Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
