We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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